{"id":585,"date":"2018-01-26T13:59:26","date_gmt":"2018-01-26T11:59:26","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/3gozdergisi.com\/?p=585"},"modified":"2018-01-30T18:14:19","modified_gmt":"2018-01-30T16:14:19","slug":"erkekler-derin-yakin-bir-iliski-yasayarak-neler-ogrenebilirler","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/3gozdergisi.com\/?p=585","title":{"rendered":"Erkekler Derin, Yak\u0131n Bir \u0130li\u015fki Ya\u015fayarak Neler \u00d6\u011frenebilirler?"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Yaz\u0131: Krishnananda<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Ben k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fckken annem ve babam farkl\u0131 erkeklerden s\u00f6z ederken onlar\u0131n \u201cmensch\u201d oldu\u011funu veya olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6ylerlerdi. Bu s\u00f6zc\u00fck Yidi\u015ftir (\u0130braniceyle kar\u0131\u015f\u0131k Alman leh\u00e7esi) ve anlam\u0131 Almanca\u2019da kullan\u0131lan ayn\u0131 s\u00f6zc\u00fckten \u00e7ok daha kapsaml\u0131d\u0131r. Bu akl\u0131selim, sorumluluk sahibi, verici, \u015fefkatli ve merhametli erkek anlam\u0131na gelir.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Erkekler olarak bizler \u201cmensch\u201d olma veya bilin\u00e7siz kalma potansiyellerine sahibiz. Bilin\u00e7alt\u0131m\u0131zda rahatl\u0131kla narsisistik, rekabet\u00e7i, duyars\u0131z, a\u00e7g\u00f6zl\u00fc, k\u00fcstah, agresif ve hatta \u00f6zellikle tehdit edildi\u011fimizi hissetti\u011fimizde veya istedi\u011fimizi elde edemedi\u011fimizde \u015fiddet e\u011filimli bireylere d\u00f6n\u00fc\u015febiliriz. Ya da di\u011fer y\u00f6ne sapar ve \u00e7\u00f6ker, su\u00e7luluk ve korkuyla erkek enerjimizi inkar ederiz. Bilin\u00e7alt\u0131nda ya ego, g\u00fc\u00e7, seks ve ba\u015far\u0131y\u0131 saplant\u0131 haline getirir ya da yolumuzu kaybeder, ama\u00e7s\u0131zca ilerleriz.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong>Bilin\u00e7siz ya\u015famak ya da bir \u201cmensch\u201d olmak bizim elimizdedir.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Ve benim g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm kadar\u0131yla, \u201cmensch\u201d olmay\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenmenin en etkili yollar\u0131ndan biri, bir kad\u0131nla ba\u011fl\u0131, derin, teke tek bir ili\u015fki i\u00e7inde olmakt\u0131r. (Bunun derin yak\u0131nl\u0131k i\u00e7eren ayn\u0131 cinsiyet ili\u015fkilerinde de ge\u00e7erli oldu\u011funu vurgulamak isterim. Dinamikler ayn\u0131d\u0131r.)<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Neden mi? \u00c7\u00fcnk\u00fc bu, di\u015fil enerjiyi \u00f6\u011frenmenin ve onu kendinize entegre etmenin en iyi yolu olabilir. Bu bizi bilin\u00e7li bir \u015fekilde \u0131st\u0131rab\u0131, hasar\u0131 ve erkek enerjisinde ya\u015faman\u0131n k\u0131s\u0131tlamalar\u0131n\u0131 anlay\u0131p hissetmeye zorluyor.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Amana ile s\u00fcrd\u00fcrd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz 19 y\u0131ll\u0131k ili\u015fkimizde, ben s\u00fcrekli dinlemenin, yava\u015flaman\u0131n, k\u0131s\u0131tlamalar\u0131m\u0131 g\u00f6r\u00fcp kabullenmenin, k\u00f6r\u00fc k\u00f6r\u00fcne h\u0131rs\u0131n yavanl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 tan\u0131man\u0131n, daha esnek olup tepkisellli\u011fi azaltman\u0131n ve her anlamda hayata kar\u015f\u0131 daha savunmas\u0131z ve a\u00e7\u0131k olman\u0131n ne anlama geldi\u011fini \u00f6\u011frendim ve \u00f6\u011frenmeye devam ediyorum. D\u00fcnyay\u0131 ve insanlar\u0131 onun g\u00f6z\u00fcnden, duyarl\u0131 bir kad\u0131n\u0131n g\u00f6z\u00fcnden g\u00f6rme \u015fans\u0131 yakal\u0131yorum.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Bu yola \u00e7\u0131kmak i\u00e7in, bana yard\u0131mc\u0131 olan birka\u00e7 anlay\u0131\u015f\u0131 sizinle payla\u015fmak isterim.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Yak\u0131n bir ili\u015fkide, fark edilmedi\u011fi ve iyile\u015ftirilmedi\u011fi takdirde bizi bilin\u00e7alt\u0131na mahkum eden iki temel yarayla y\u00fczle\u015fmek zorunda kal\u0131r\u0131z. Bu iki yarayla ba\u015f etmek de fark\u0131ndal\u0131ks\u0131z bir ili\u015fkiden bilin\u00e7li bir ili\u015fkiye ge\u00e7mi\u015fimizi sa\u011flar. Bunlardan ilki kastrasyon yaras\u0131yla y\u00fczle\u015fmek, ikincisiyse terkedilme yaras\u0131yla y\u00fczle\u015fmektir.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Bir kad\u0131nla kurdu\u011fumuz ili\u015fkide, \u00f6zellikle de derin ve ba\u011fl\u0131 bir ili\u015fkide, ele\u015ftirildi\u011fimiz, kontrolden \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z, kimli\u011fimizi yitirdi\u011fimiz, fikirlerimize kar\u015f\u0131 \u00e7\u0131k\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 fark etti\u011fimiz, cinsel anlamda kendimizi yetersiz hissetti\u011fimiz ya da kontrol edildi\u011fimizi, kullan\u0131ld\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 veya y\u00f6netildi\u011fimizi hissetti\u011fimiz her an kastrasyon yaram\u0131z kolayl\u0131kla tetiklenir.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Bu sebepten \u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fc, yak\u0131nl\u0131k kurmaktan ka\u00e7\u0131n\u0131r, \u201c\u00f6zg\u00fcrl\u00fc\u011fe\u201d olan d\u00fc\u015fk\u00fcnl\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc bahane ederek tercihlerimizi hakl\u0131 g\u00f6stermeye \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131r\u0131z. Oysa genelde bu, kastrasyon yaram\u0131zla y\u00fczle\u015fmek istemiyor olu\u015fumuz i\u00e7in bir telafidir.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Ayr\u0131ca para, g\u00fc\u00e7, imaj, arabalar, silahlar, duyars\u0131z cinsellik, \u015fiddet veya erkek enerjimizi geri planda tutarak bu a\u00e7\u0131\u011f\u0131 kapatma yoluna gidebiliriz. Hatta basmakal\u0131p davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n b\u00fcy\u00fck bir b\u00f6l\u00fcm\u00fc d\u00fcrt\u00fcsel olarak bu yaray\u0131 hissetmekten ka\u00e7\u0131nma gayretleridir. Telafi yoluna gitti\u011fimiz s\u00fcrece, kendimizden ve ba\u015fka insanlardan kopuk ya\u015far\u0131z.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Biz erkeklerin hissetmekten bu kadar korktuklar\u0131 \u015fey nedir?<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u00c7aresiz, g\u00fc\u00e7s\u00fcz, kuvvetten d\u00fc\u015fm\u00fc\u015f ve daha derin bir seviyede bo\u015f hissetme d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcncesi bizi deh\u015fete d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcr\u00fcr. Hayat\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n kontrol\u00fcn\u00fcn elimizde olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hissetmek, ba\u015far\u0131s\u0131zl\u0131k, k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcmsenme, de\u011fersizlik ve gereksizlik duygular\u0131 bizi korkutur. Kendi agresif enerjimizden korkar\u0131z. Bu kastrasyon yaras\u0131d\u0131r ve erken ya\u015flarda erke\u011fin bir \u015fekilde kendini bask\u0131 alt\u0131nda, etkisiz b\u0131rak\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, utand\u0131r\u0131lm\u0131\u015f, a\u015fa\u011f\u0131lanm\u0131\u015f veya k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fcmsenmi\u015f hissetmesinden kaynaklan\u0131r.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>G\u00fcney Fransa\u2019da ya\u015fayan 44 ya\u015f\u0131ndaki \u0130sve\u00e7li \u00f6zg\u00fcr ruh Oscar sekiz y\u0131l \u00f6nce iki haftal\u0131k bir tatil i\u00e7in bize kat\u0131ld\u0131. Sevgiyi \u00d6\u011frenme \u00c7al\u0131\u015fmas\u0131n\u0131n odak noktas\u0131n\u0131n yak\u0131nl\u0131k oldu\u011funu bilmesine ra\u011fmen, bekar hayat\u0131n\u0131 sevdi\u011fi ve bir kad\u0131nla ba\u011fl\u0131, derin bir ili\u015fkiye ba\u015flamak gibi bir niyeti olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7\u0131k\u00e7a belirtti. O seminer bitti ve y\u0131llar sonra Oscar\u2019dan haber ald\u0131k. Yak\u0131n zamanda bir ba\u015fka seminere kat\u0131ld\u0131 ve bireysel \u00e7al\u0131\u015fma i\u00e7in benimle temas kurdu.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cKrish, uzun zamand\u0131r yak\u0131n bir ili\u015fki kurmaktan ka\u00e7\u0131nd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131 biliyorum, ama \u015fimdi hayat\u0131mda bir \u015feylerin eksik oldu\u011funu hissediyorum. Bir kad\u0131nla ya\u015famak ve sevginin ne oldu\u011funu \u00f6\u011frenmek istiyorum. D\u00fcr\u00fcst olmak gerekirse, \u00e7ok korkuyorum. Ge\u00e7mi\u015fte yak\u0131n bile diyemeyece\u011fim ili\u015fkilerde kendimi kaybettim. \u0130yi \u00e7ocuk oldu\u011fumda bana \u00f6fkelenen kad\u0131ndan \u00e7ok korkuyorum.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Oscar terapi \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmas\u0131na ba\u015flad\u0131\u011f\u0131 d\u00f6nemde, onun yan\u0131na ta\u015f\u0131nmak isteyen bir kad\u0131nla g\u00f6r\u00fc\u015f\u00fcyordu. O bunu istemiyordu, ama hay\u0131r demeye de \u00e7ekiniyordu.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u201cBu onu istiyor bile olsa, sen onunla ayn\u0131 evde ya\u015famak istemedi\u011fini a\u00e7\u0131k\u00e7a belirtsen ne olur?\u201d diye sordum.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAh, hay\u0131r,\u201d dedi. \u201cBen asla bunu s\u00f6yleyemem!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Ama s\u00f6yledi ve kad\u0131n\u0131n bunu anlay\u0131\u015fla kabul edebildi\u011fini fark etti. Bu ili\u015fkisinde yava\u015f yava\u015f, ayr\u0131ca iki \u00e7ocu\u011funun annesi, genelde mant\u0131ks\u0131z ve talepkar oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fc eski e\u015fiyle olan ili\u015fkisinde, kendi ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131 ve duygular\u0131 konusunda daha net olmay\u0131, gerekti\u011finde kar\u015f\u0131 tarafla s\u0131n\u0131rlar\u0131n\u0131 belirlemeyi \u00f6\u011freniyor.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Erkekler olarak bizim bir kad\u0131n\u0131n g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fc kabul etmemiz ve yine de kendi g\u00fcc\u00fcm\u00fcz\u00fc hissetmemiz, inan\u0131lmaz bir cesaret ve fark\u0131ndal\u0131k gerektirir. Kendimize, yarat\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131za, bir insan olarak \u00f6zde\u011ferimize ve s\u0131n\u0131r koyma becerimize inanmam\u0131z gerekiyor. O zamana kadar, kad\u0131n\u0131n g\u00fcc\u00fcn\u00fc tehditkar bulmam\u0131z do\u011fald\u0131r. B\u00fcy\u00fck olas\u0131l\u0131kla direnecek ve isyan edecek ve\/veya onu bizi kontrol etmekle su\u00e7lama yolunu se\u00e7ece\u011fiz.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Amana\u2019yla olan ili\u015fkimde, bu kastrasyon yaras\u0131n\u0131 s\u00fcrekli ke\u015ffetmek, hem onun bu yaray\u0131 nas\u0131l tahrik etti\u011fini hem de nas\u0131l bunun annemle olan ili\u015fkimde meydana geldi\u011fini ara\u015ft\u0131rmak zorunda kald\u0131m. Zamanla, ortaya \u00e7\u0131kan duygulardan uzakla\u015fmaya ve Amana\u2019n\u0131n ne annem ne de erkekli\u011fimin bir d\u00fc\u015fman\u0131 oldu\u011funu g\u00f6rmeye ba\u015flad\u0131m. \u015eimdi kendimi bask\u0131 alt\u0131nda hissetme ve tepki verme e\u011filiminde g\u00f6rd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcmde g\u00fcl\u00fcyorum. Bu ayn\u0131 zamanda bana yarat\u0131c\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131ma ula\u015fma ve enerjimi y\u00f6nlendirmenin yeni yollar\u0131n\u0131 bulma imkan\u0131 veriyor.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>\u0130nsanlarla yapt\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmalar bana bu yaran\u0131n her erkekte \u00e7ok derin oldu\u011funu ve bununla ba\u015f etmek i\u00e7in fark\u0131ndal\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z\u0131 kullanmam\u0131z gerekti\u011fini \u00f6\u011fretti. Kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131kl\u0131 ba\u011fl\u0131 bir ili\u015fkide, kad\u0131n\u0131n g\u00fcc\u00fcnde kusur buldu\u011fumuz ve onu bask\u0131c\u0131 olmakla su\u00e7lad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z anlar, kendimizi \u00e7aresiz, vas\u0131fs\u0131z ve bo\u015flukta hissetti\u011fimiz anlard\u0131r.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p><strong><em>Yak\u0131nl\u0131k ayn\u0131 zamanda bizi olgunla\u015fmaya zorlar, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc bizi ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zla \u2013 terk edilme yaram\u0131zla \u2013 kar\u015f\u0131 kar\u015f\u0131ya getirir.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>59 ya\u015f\u0131ndaki bir m\u00fc\u015fterim, Wilfred e\u015fi seks konusunda onun kadar hevesli olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda ya da arkada\u015flar\u0131 veya di\u011fer aktivitelerle me\u015fgul olup ona onun istedi\u011fi zaman\u0131 ay\u0131rmad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda \u00f6fkeden delirir. O ba\u015far\u0131l\u0131 bir i\u015f adam\u0131d\u0131r ve istedi\u011fi her \u015feyi elde etmeye al\u0131\u015fk\u0131nd\u0131r. Neyse ki, e\u015fi onun talepleri veya \u00f6fkesi kar\u015f\u0131s\u0131nda y\u0131lmaz. Terapi \u00e7al\u0131\u015fmas\u0131n\u0131n neticesinde, \u015fimdi Wilfred t\u00fcm \u00f6fke ve rahats\u0131zl\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131n terk edilme yaras\u0131ndan, arzu etti\u011fi cinselli\u011fi veya ilgiyi g\u00f6rmedi\u011finde kendini yoksun ve bo\u015f hissetmesinden kaynakland\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 anlamaya ba\u015fl\u0131yor.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Biz erkekler kabul etti\u011fimizden \u00e7ok daha ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131 ve muhta\u00e7 varl\u0131klar\u0131z. Ama ne kadar ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131 oldu\u011fumuzu, bir kad\u0131nla derin bir ili\u015fki kurana kadar fark etmeyebiliriz. Yak\u0131nl\u0131k terk edilme yaras\u0131n\u0131 a\u00e7ar, \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc t\u00fcm ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131k ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n kar\u015f\u0131lanaca\u011f\u0131 umudu ve beklentisi genelde h\u00fcsranla son bulur. Fark\u0131nda olmadan, isteklerimiz kar\u015f\u0131lanmad\u0131\u011f\u0131nda kolayl\u0131kla tepki verebiliriz. \u00d6te yandan, neyin tetiklendi\u011finizi bildi\u011fimizde ve i\u00e7e d\u00f6n\u00fcp o h\u00fcsran ve korkuyla y\u00fczle\u015fti\u011fimizde, bu bizi engin bir b\u00fcy\u00fcme, sayg\u0131nl\u0131k ve derinlik yolculu\u011funa g\u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fcr.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Amana\u2019yla ili\u015fkimden \u00f6nce, tam ba\u011f\u0131ms\u0131z bir adamd\u0131m. Kendi ba\u015f\u0131ma hayat\u0131m\u0131 s\u00fcrd\u00fcrebilece\u011fime ve hayattaki en b\u00fcy\u00fck tutkular\u0131m\u0131n i\u015fim ve tenis ma\u00e7lar\u0131m oldu\u011funa ikna olmu\u015ftum.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Sevginin ne oldu\u011funa ve asl\u0131nda ne kadar ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131 oldu\u011fuma dair hi\u00e7bir fikrim yoktu. O zamana kadar birlikte oldu\u011fum kad\u0131nlar onlara sahip \u00e7\u0131kacak bir adam ar\u0131yorlard\u0131 ve ben bak\u0131c\u0131\/ba\u011f\u0131ms\u0131z rol\u00fcn\u00fc rahatl\u0131kla \u00fcstlendim. Ama Amana asla ona sahip \u00e7\u0131kacak bir adam aram\u0131yor ve aramad\u0131 da. Bir \u015fekilde, gizli ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131m\u0131n y\u00fczeye \u00e7\u0131kmas\u0131na olanak veren g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc ve ba\u011f\u0131ms\u0131z biriyle birlikte olmam gerekti\u011fini hissetmi\u015ftim. Bu duygular y\u00fczeye \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131nda, daha derine inebilir ve ard\u0131ndaki yaray\u0131 ke\u015ffedebilirdim.<\/p>\n<p>Biz erkekler i\u00e7in bu ba\u011f\u0131ml\u0131l\u0131k ihtiya\u00e7lar\u0131n\u0131 ke\u015ffetmek pek \u00e7ok sebepten \u00f6t\u00fcr\u00fc korkutucu olabilir.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Birincisi, egomuz bundan ho\u015flanmaz. Kendimizi muhta\u00e7 insanlar olarak d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnmekten ho\u015flanmay\u0131z. Ama \u00f6yleyiz.<\/p>\n<p>\u0130kincisi, bir kad\u0131n\u0131n bizim yan\u0131m\u0131zda olmas\u0131n\u0131n ne kadar g\u00fc\u00e7l\u00fc bir ihtiya\u00e7 oldu\u011funu fark etmek ve arzu etti\u011fimiz \u015feyi elde edemedi\u011fimizde h\u00fcsran veya muhta\u00e7l\u0131k hissetmek endi\u015fe verici olabilir. Birlikte oldu\u011fumuz kad\u0131n bize diledi\u011fimiz kadar seks, ilgi, yak\u0131nl\u0131k veya destek g\u00f6stermedi\u011finde ne kadar huysuz ve rahats\u0131z davran\u0131\u015flar sergiledi\u011fimizi g\u00f6rmek \u015fok edici olabilir.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Son olarak, terk edilme yaram\u0131z\u0131n a\u00e7\u0131lmas\u0131n\u0131n bir par\u00e7as\u0131 olarak, reddedilme veya kaybetme korkumuzla y\u00fczle\u015fmek zorunday\u0131z. A\u015f\u0131k olana dek, bu korkuya kar\u015f\u0131 ne kadar savunmas\u0131z oldu\u011fumuzu fark edemeyebiliriz. Bir ba\u015fka adama baksa veya be\u011fendi\u011fini ima etse k\u0131skan\u00e7l\u0131k duyabiliriz. Eve zaman\u0131nda gelmedi\u011finde, ba\u015f\u0131na bir \u015fey gelmi\u015f olabilece\u011fini d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcp endi\u015felenebiliriz. Ben bu korkular\u0131n hepsini ya\u015fad\u0131m ve \u00e7ok \u015fa\u015f\u0131rd\u0131m. Hala Amana yan\u0131mda olmadan bir seyahate \u00e7\u0131kt\u0131\u011f\u0131mda endi\u015feleniyorum, o da ayn\u0131 \u015fekilde. Kula\u011fa \u00e7\u0131lg\u0131nca geliyor, de\u011fil mi? Ama bana kal\u0131rsa, sevgi b\u00f6yle bir \u015fey.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Terk edilme yaram\u0131z tetiklendi\u011finde, bu i\u00e7e d\u00f6nmek ve tepki vermektense i\u00e7imizdeki korku ve pani\u011fi hissetmek i\u00e7in bir f\u0131rsatt\u0131r. Dikkatli bakarsak, bilin\u00e7alt\u0131 davran\u0131\u015flar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n, \u00f6fke ve yak\u0131nmalar\u0131m\u0131z\u0131n \u00e7o\u011funun, bizim bu korkuyu hissetmek istemiyor olu\u015fumuzla tetiklendi\u011fini anlayabiliriz.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Bu makaleye, \u201cbir erkek kendini derin bir ili\u015fkide bir kad\u0131na a\u00e7arak ne \u00f6\u011frenebilir?\u201d diyerek ba\u015flam\u0131\u015ft\u0131m.<\/p>\n<p>Olgun bir insan olmay\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenebiliriz.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Bilin\u00e7alt\u0131 erkek davran\u0131\u015f ve tutumlar\u0131m\u0131z genelde i\u00e7imizdeki korkular\u0131 hissetmek istemiyor olmam\u0131zla tetiklenir. Bunlar \u00e7aresizce a\u015fka ihtiya\u00e7 duyma ve kendimizi g\u00fc\u00e7s\u00fcz hissetme korkular\u0131m\u0131zd\u0131r. Bu korkular\u0131 maskeler, \u00f6fke, \u015fiddet, narsisizm ve ego ill\u00fczyonuyla \u00f6rteriz. Yak\u0131n bir ili\u015fkinin s\u00fcrmesi ve derinle\u015fmesi i\u00e7in, bu maskeleri \u00e7\u0131karmay\u0131 \u00f6\u011frenmeliyiz. Ve o zaman, benim hayat\u0131n nihai arma\u011fanlar\u0131ndan biri oldu\u011funu d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcnd\u00fc\u011f\u00fcm \u015feyi, uzun s\u00fcreli, derin sevgi deneyimini ya\u015far\u0131z.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>Sevgiler,<\/p>\n<p>Krishnananda ve Amana<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 10pt;\"><em>(Kaynak: Sevgiyi \u00d6\u011frenme Gazetesi- Learning Love Institute)<\/em><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Yaz\u0131: Krishnananda &nbsp; Ben k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fckken annem ve babam farkl\u0131 erkeklerden s\u00f6z ederken onlar\u0131n \u201cmensch\u201d oldu\u011funu veya olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 s\u00f6ylerlerdi. Bu s\u00f6zc\u00fck Yidi\u015ftir (\u0130braniceyle kar\u0131\u015f\u0131k Alman leh\u00e7esi) ve anlam\u0131 Almanca\u2019da kullan\u0131lan ayn\u0131 s\u00f6zc\u00fckten \u00e7ok daha kapsaml\u0131d\u0131r. Bu akl\u0131selim, sorumluluk sahibi, verici, \u015fefkatli ve merhametli erkek anlam\u0131na gelir. &nbsp; Erkekler olarak bizler \u201cmensch\u201d<span class=\"more-link\"><a href=\"https:\/\/3gozdergisi.com\/?p=585\">Read More &rarr;<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":5,"featured_media":624,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"advanced_seo_description":"","jetpack_seo_html_title":"","jetpack_seo_noindex":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["entry","author-gulerpinarbasi","post-585","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","category-genel"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/3gozdergisi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/stopimage-man-thinking-4.jpg?fit=1600%2C1067&ssl=1","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":1999,"url":"https:\/\/3gozdergisi.com\/?p=1999","url_meta":{"origin":585,"position":0},"title":"T\u00fcrkiye\u2019de Kad\u0131nlar\u0131n Hayat\u0131&#8230;","author":"g\u00fcler p\u0131narba\u015f\u0131","date":"6 Mart 2020","format":false,"excerpt":"8 Mart D\u00fcnya Kad\u0131nlar G\u00fcn\u00fcne yakla\u015f\u0131rken NG Ara\u015ft\u0131rma \u015firketi kad\u0131nlar, erkekler ve toplumla ilgili bir kamuoyu ara\u015ft\u0131rmas\u0131 yapt\u0131.\u00a0Ara\u015ft\u0131rma T\u00fcrkiye genelinde, 18 ya\u015f \u00fczeri, farkl\u0131 sosyo-ekonomik gruplardan 2257 ki\u015finin kat\u0131l\u0131m\u0131 ile online ara\u015ft\u0131rma platformu\u00a0www.benderimki.com\u00a0\u00fczerinde ger\u00e7ekle\u015ftirildi.\u00a0Toplumumuzla ilgili birbirinden \u00f6nemli konulara \u0131\u015f\u0131k tutulan ara\u015ft\u0131rman\u0131n sonu\u00e7lar\u0131 yaz\u0131n\u0131n devam\u0131nda. \u00a0 Ev i\u015fleri payla\u015f\u0131l\u0131yor mu? Geleneksel\u2026","rel":"","context":"&quot;Genel&quot; i\u00e7inde","block_context":{"text":"Genel","link":"https:\/\/3gozdergisi.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/3gozdergisi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/8-mart.jpg?fit=865%2C487&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/3gozdergisi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/8-mart.jpg?fit=865%2C487&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/3gozdergisi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/8-mart.jpg?fit=865%2C487&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/3gozdergisi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2020\/03\/8-mart.jpg?fit=865%2C487&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":844,"url":"https:\/\/3gozdergisi.com\/?p=844","url_meta":{"origin":585,"position":1},"title":"Erkekler neden bir kad\u0131n\u0131n yan\u0131nda?","author":"g\u00fcler p\u0131narba\u015f\u0131","date":"26 Eyl\u00fcl 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"1 kad\u0131n ve 40 erkek y\u00fczy\u0131l\u0131n bu sorununu \u00e7\u00f6zecek! Erkeklerin aktif kat\u0131l\u0131m\u0131yla kurulan ve 1 kad\u0131n 40 erkekten olu\u015fan 41 kurucu \u00fcyesiyle birlikte, toplumsal cinsiyet e\u015fitli\u011finin sa\u011flanmas\u0131 ama\u00e7layan YANINDAYIZ DERNE\u011e\u0130 May\u0131s 2018\u2019de kurularak 25 Eyl\u00fcl 2018'de bas\u0131na tan\u0131t\u0131ld\u0131. Kurucu ba\u015fkan\u0131\u00a0\u00a0kad\u0131n ve di\u011fer kurucu \u00fcyelerinin tamam\u0131 erkeklerden olu\u015fan\u00a0dernek, T\u00fcrkiye'de tam e\u015fitlik\u2026","rel":"","context":"&quot;Genel&quot; i\u00e7inde","block_context":{"text":"Genel","link":"https:\/\/3gozdergisi.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/3gozdergisi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/yan%C4%B1nday%C4%B1z.jpg?fit=770%2C1154&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/3gozdergisi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/yan%C4%B1nday%C4%B1z.jpg?fit=770%2C1154&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/3gozdergisi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/yan%C4%B1nday%C4%B1z.jpg?fit=770%2C1154&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/3gozdergisi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/09\/yan%C4%B1nday%C4%B1z.jpg?fit=770%2C1154&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x"},"classes":[]},{"id":593,"url":"https:\/\/3gozdergisi.com\/?p=593","url_meta":{"origin":585,"position":2},"title":"Su\u00e7lamaktan ve \u015eikayet Etmekten Vazge\u00e7mek.","author":"g\u00fcler p\u0131narba\u015f\u0131","date":"26 Ocak 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Uzun y\u0131llard\u0131r Sedona'daki evimizin camlar\u0131n\u0131 temizlemesi i\u00e7in ayn\u0131 insanla \u00e7al\u0131\u015f\u0131yoruz. Geldi\u011fi zaman harika bir i\u015f \u00e7\u0131kar\u0131yor, ama \u00e7a\u011f\u0131rd\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z zamanlar\u0131n \u00fc\u00e7te ikisinde, gelemeyece\u011fini \u00e7\u00fcnk\u00fc ba\u015f\u0131n\u0131n a\u011fr\u0131d\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131, so\u011fu\u011fa yakaland\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ya da ba\u015fka k\u00fc\u00e7\u00fck bir rahats\u0131zl\u0131k ge\u00e7irdi\u011fini, \u00e7ok trafik oldu\u011funu, havan\u0131n \u00e7ok s\u0131cak ya da \u00e7ok so\u011fuk oldu\u011funu s\u00f6yler. Art\u0131k ona nas\u0131l oldu\u011funu\u2026","rel":"","context":"&quot;Genel&quot; i\u00e7inde","block_context":{"text":"Genel","link":"https:\/\/3gozdergisi.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/3gozdergisi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/blame.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/3gozdergisi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/blame.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/3gozdergisi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/blame.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/3gozdergisi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/blame.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/3gozdergisi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/blame.jpg?fit=1200%2C801&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":590,"url":"https:\/\/3gozdergisi.com\/?p=590","url_meta":{"origin":585,"position":3},"title":"\u0130li\u015fkilerde almam\u0131z gerekti\u011fine inand\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z \u015feyi almad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131zda neler oluyor?","author":"g\u00fcler p\u0131narba\u015f\u0131","date":"26 Ocak 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Yaz\u0131: Krishnananda \u00a0 Bug\u00fcn ili\u015fkilerinde, Matthew Alexandra'n\u0131n onu hayat\u0131na almad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ya da Matthew'un istedi\u011fi kadar a\u00e7\u0131k ve \u015feffaf olmad\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 hissediyordu. Buna kar\u015f\u0131l\u0131k Alexandra ele\u015ftirildi\u011fini, yarg\u0131land\u0131\u011f\u0131n\u0131 ve farkl\u0131 olmas\u0131n\u0131n beklendi\u011fini hissediyordu. Yaralar\u0131 \u00e7ok farkl\u0131 \u015fekillerde ortaya \u00e7\u0131k\u0131yordu. Matthew\u00a0\u00a0s\u00fcrekli daha yak\u0131n olmak istiyor ve Alexandra'n\u0131n ona verebildikleriyle tatmin olmuyordu. Alexandra Matthew'un kendi\u2026","rel":"","context":"&quot;Genel&quot; i\u00e7inde","block_context":{"text":"Genel","link":"https:\/\/3gozdergisi.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/3gozdergisi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/pexels-photo-412295.jpeg?fit=1200%2C825&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/3gozdergisi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/pexels-photo-412295.jpeg?fit=1200%2C825&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/3gozdergisi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/pexels-photo-412295.jpeg?fit=1200%2C825&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/3gozdergisi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/pexels-photo-412295.jpeg?fit=1200%2C825&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/3gozdergisi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/01\/pexels-photo-412295.jpeg?fit=1200%2C825&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":313,"url":"https:\/\/3gozdergisi.com\/?p=313","url_meta":{"origin":585,"position":4},"title":"Mandala: Kutsal Geometri ve Sanat","author":"dergi","date":"4 Haziran 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Yaz\u0131: Nitin Kumar \/ Exotic India \u00a0\u00c7eviri: \u0130brahim Y\u0131k\u0131lmaz Budist din ve sanat\u0131nda belki de en \u00e7ok be\u011fenilen ve tart\u0131\u015f\u0131lan, guru ya da yoga gibi bir kelime olan mandala, \u0130ngiliz dilinin de bir par\u00e7as\u0131d\u0131r. Pop\u00fclerli\u011fi; mandala kelimesinin d\u00fcnyadaki bilgelikte kutsal alamla e\u015f anlaml\u0131 kullan\u0131m\u0131 ve \u0130ngiliz dili s\u00f6zl\u00fckleri ve ansiklopedilerindeki\u2026","rel":"","context":"&quot;Say\u0131: 10&quot; i\u00e7inde","block_context":{"text":"Say\u0131: 10","link":"https:\/\/3gozdergisi.com\/?cat=26"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/3gozdergisi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/madla.jpg?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/3gozdergisi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/madla.jpg?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/3gozdergisi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/madla.jpg?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/3gozdergisi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/madla.jpg?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=700%2C400 2x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/3gozdergisi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/06\/madla.jpg?fit=1200%2C1200&ssl=1&resize=1050%2C600 3x"},"classes":[]},{"id":1023,"url":"https:\/\/3gozdergisi.com\/?p=1023","url_meta":{"origin":585,"position":5},"title":"Beslenmenin \u00d6nemi ve Metabolizma","author":"g\u00fcler p\u0131narba\u015f\u0131","date":"10 May\u0131s 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Ya\u015fam kendisini devam ettirmek i\u00e7in gerekli her yap\u0131y\u0131 olu\u015fturmu\u015ftur ve plan bu do\u011frultuda ilerlemektedir. Biz bunu anlamad\u0131\u011f\u0131m\u0131z i\u00e7in tersine davran\u0131\u015flar i\u00e7ine giriyoruz ya da olanlar\u0131n nedenini alg\u0131layam\u0131yoruz. Esas\u0131nda tam olmas\u0131 gereken oluyordur. Dr. Nuri Haksever Kendimizi manas\u0131z ve yarars\u0131z buldu\u011fumuz zamanlar vard\u0131r. De\u011fersiz oldu\u011fumuzu, sevilmedi\u011fimizi d\u00fc\u015f\u00fcn\u00fcr\u00fcz. Hayal k\u0131r\u0131kl\u0131klar\u0131yla dolu hayat\u0131m\u0131zda\u2026","rel":"","context":"&quot;Genel&quot; i\u00e7inde","block_context":{"text":"Genel","link":"https:\/\/3gozdergisi.com\/?cat=1"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/3gozdergisi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/beslenme.jpg?fit=640%2C450&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200,"srcset":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/3gozdergisi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/beslenme.jpg?fit=640%2C450&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200 1x, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/3gozdergisi.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/05\/beslenme.jpg?fit=640%2C450&ssl=1&resize=525%2C300 1.5x"},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8Aoxt-9r","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/3gozdergisi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/585","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/3gozdergisi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/3gozdergisi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/3gozdergisi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/5"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/3gozdergisi.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=585"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/3gozdergisi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/585\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":589,"href":"https:\/\/3gozdergisi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/585\/revisions\/589"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/3gozdergisi.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/media\/624"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/3gozdergisi.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=585"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/3gozdergisi.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=585"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/3gozdergisi.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=585"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}